To decide whether your business partnership is really in trouble or you are just experiencing a normal level of conflict, you can start by focusing on a handful of questions. Problems arise most often in four areas: operations and management, finances, trust and interpersonal relations.

  1. Operational. Do you and your partner agree on the major direction of the business? Do you find yourselves stepping over each other because you are not in total agreement about the roles you play in the business? Do you find that some things slip through the cracks because neither of you has taken primary responsibility, or that your partner does not take responsibility for everything she should? Should you or your partner have different titles to reflect greater responsibility or contribution?
  2. Financial. Do you feel taken advantage of because your partner is not pulling her weight, or do you think you are underpaid for your contribution? Are there legitimate financial troubles? Even worse, are third party creditors of the business chasing after you individually, whether you have personally guaranteed their debt or not?
  3. Trust. Is there reluctance to sign an LLC agreement or shareholders agreement since a document might set rights in stone? Has there been difficulty in sharing or obtaining financial or other company information? Do you suspect fraud, skimming off the top of the business, taking too much business material for personal use (or use in another business) or even something underhanded that might cut you out of economic gain?
  4. Interpersonal. Does competition outweigh cooperation, to the point that one partner consistently undermines the other or plays the blame game when something goes wrong? Does your partner have an outsized need for control? Does your partner sometimes seem irrational (or, to put it another way, acts based on assumptions about the world that you do not share)? Are you uncomfortable with the long-term level or style of conflict? Most importantly, do you feel disdainful toward your partner, or get treated with disdain?

What you can do about it. If you answered "yes" to a few of these questions, then you might want to keep an eye on things to make sure they do not evolve into a more difficult situation. If more than a few of these sound familiar, then you should take steps right away before the growing conflict harms the business. Regular meetings help – they give you the opportunity to break big problems into manageable pieces. A management advisor or mediator who understands business may be able to help you decide if you can fix the roots of the issue. You might even bring in a conflict coach if clashing communications styles are a concern.

Breaking up is hard to do. If you are thinking about going your separate ways, you have many choices. You can start with negotiation , bringing lawyers in as needed. You might also consider mediation , which is a goal-oriented conversation facilitated by a neutral third party, or collaborative law , a highly structured negotiating process in which specially trained lawyers assist in solving problems rather than taking a lead adversarial role, sometimes with the help of mutually agreed experts or a conflict coach. Negotiation, mediation or collaboration have the advantage of letting you structure your own resolution in private rather than having one imposed on you in public and often result in keeping personal relationship between partners intact. Litigation has its place, if you do not mind a public tribunal with loss of control. Also, many people find the journey to judgment more expensive, disruptive and time-consuming than they had imagined. Consider what is important to you in choosing your approach.