Anybody getting back in the dating world will find they encounter many challenges. But for women over 40, the challenges are different. After all, things have changed since they were in their 20’s, when life was more carefree and simple. Here are a few of the most common concerns when entering the dating world.

I’m not a size 4. Will anyone be attracted to me?

If you think like this you need to do the inner work to get to a place of confidence and comfort with who you are. There are many women who are not strikingly beautiful, long or lean and yet they are married to wonderful men who love who they are and how they look. Stop wasting your energy worrying about looking different and start being different! Radiate the essence of who you really are and you will start attracting smart, relationship-minded men who are looking for a sharp, compassionate, fun-loving person like you!

How do I meet singles around my age?

You have to put yourself out there, especially in places that are of interest to you — classes, sporting events, book stores, political organizations, gyms and clubs. Once you’re with people, start up a conversation by asking a question, offering an opinion or seeking some kind of help. Be sure to make eye contact, smile and show you are interested in the conversation. You can do that by paraphrasing what’s being said and by keeping your body language open and receptive. Remember, nothing gained, nothing lost if you don’t meet someone. At the very least, you are socializing and honing your skills!

I can’t seem to get past first dates. What am I doing wrong?

You must be doing or saying something that is turning off your dates. See if any of these ring true for you:

Are you coming across too needy or desperate? That would cause your partner to find you unappealing or intimidating.

Are you talking too much? It’s always a good idea to limit your responses and be a good listener so you don’t dominate the entire conversation.

As a woman, are you offering to pay your way too soon? As a man, are you expecting a woman to pay her own way? Most men feel they want to be in control of the first date and like being generous and chivalrous.

Are you picking a partner who isn’t the right “fit” for you?

Are you sending negative vibes about what you don’t like about him/her — and your partner senses it?

Is your voice tone or body language cold or stand-offish?

Are you overstepping healthy physical or verbal boundaries without realizing it?

Are you sharing too much about yourself and not leaving anything to your date’s imagination?

Are you too negative, cynical or sarcastic about dating and relationships and letting that come across?

Dating should be a fun and exciting experience and if you plan ahead, are aware of what you think and how you feel and are open to just having a good time, you will overcome the many challenges mature women experience in the dating field.