Am I dreaming? The sign outside the skyscraper reads: “Spiritual Realm.” I hurry straight to the elevator. “Up, please,” I tell the operator.

She looks confused? “Up? You want to go up?”

“Certainly!” I swallow my annoyance. “To the top.” The elevator starts ascending rapidly. I fidget.

“Isn’t it getting stuffy in here?” I remark.

She shrugs. “Yeah. A/C cuts off past the 30th floor.” Ding! “Penthouse.” As the doors open, a rush of heat invades the elevator.

I scream, “Shut it, quick!” Just before the doors close, I notice the sign: SATAN CORPORATION–and just below it: HERE YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE.

We fall rapidly. In moments the A/C kicks back on.

“I don’t understand. I thought God would be at the top, but it’s Satan. What gives?”

“Didn’t you check the directory in the lobby?” the operator answers. “God’s offices are in the basement.”

“The basement?”

“Yup. Offices here are assigned according to hubris.”

“Hubris? I’m not familiar with the term.”

“It means ‘wanton arrogance resulting from excessive pride.'”

“I see. So because God and His associates are low in hubris…”

“…they’re in the basement.”

“I get it. If you want to go up–really up…”

“You gotta to go down, but anyone unwilling to go down–well, then there’s no place but up. Here we are: bottom floor.”

The opening doors admit a cool, fragrant breeze. The sign on the opposite wall reads, GOD & SON, UNLIMITED, and the line below: HERE YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED. I step out of the elevator, hoping I never wake up.