For years, I’ve been teaching people how to recognize the hidden meanings in what others say by using some simple techniques I learned during my years as a cop. But recently I realized there was something critical I’d overlooked, and it might be of interest if you have some curiosity about this sport of “truth detection”. So what have I failed to point out? Simply put, it’s the Power of Rationalization.

When it comes to a person’s truthfulness-or lack of it, really-rationalization is usually at work when they’re trying to cover up what they don’t want you to know. Here’s a little piece of reality: Deception comes naturally to people. Everyone has done it, and everyone has had it done to them. It’s a self-preservation technique, ready at a moment’s notice to snatch us from any jam.

Another trait that most of us share? Rationalization. We typically find a way to make what we want to do, seem like the only sensible thing to do. We rationalize buying a new car-by telling ourselves the one we’re driving is untrustworthy because it has too many miles. We rationalize a bad action toward another person-by reminding ourselves of what they’ve done toward us in the past. People tend to find ways to make their actions and deeds make sense, even if only in their own minds.

So how does all this relate to deception? Well, rationalization is what facilitates deception, makes it permissible in the mind of the deceptive person. They subconsciously figure out ways to reassure themselves their behavior makes sense, that it’s justified. This allows them to:

1 – Do what they want in the first place

2 – Be deceptive when talking about it

3 – Feel no guilt

What? No guilt? Scary but true: Contrary to what might be popular belief, people feel virtually no guilt when they lie-why would they? They’ve justified their deceit, given themselves permission to do whatever it takes to “protect” them from the discomfort the truth would bring them.

Their concern isn’t with the morality of the deceit, but with its success. So here’s an interesting little secret that few know: When you see nervousness demonstrated by a deceptive person it’s not due to feelings of guilt-it’s due to their fear of being caught. So rationalization is a big part of what moves a person down the path of deception, and it actually works on three levels, usually spread out over a bit of time as things unfold:

1 – They rationalize the action: People generally find ways to do what they want to do, right? And they justify their actions by making what they want to do seem acceptable to themselves. If there’s something we really want to buy, for instance, we usually find a way to rationalize it so that we get what we want. We buy what we want, then we back that decision up with logic.

Example: We want a new car (emotion), and so we rationalize the purchase by telling ourselves that we’ll save on maintenance (logic), or get better gas mileage (logic), or the new car will have more room (logic). One emotional urge, backed up by numerous “logical” reasons, all designed to make the action seem understandable, allowable, even necessary. Ultimately, we’re just rationalizing why it’s reasonable to do… what we want to do.

Along the same lines, when a person wants to do something they shouldn’t, or that wouldn’t be acceptable to others, they subconsciously rationalize why it’ll be okay. People don’t always make good decisions in the moment when no one’s looking, or when they think no one will find out-and those two factors end up leading them to go ahead and do… what they want to do! Let me ask you (hey, no one will know, so you can be honest): Have you ever done something that seemed enticing or fun in the moment, knowing that it wouldn’t be viewed so well if it others found out?

Haven’t we all.

2 – They rationalize the deception: So then comes the moment of facing up to their actions. Maybe someone accidentally touches on the “touchy” subject. Maybe someone asks about it directly. Either way, there’s a decision to be made: Tell the truth, or use deception to sidestep it. When they choose to avoid the truth, people many times rationalize their dishonesty. They may tell themselves the truth is no one else’s business. Or that that the truth can’t be proven, and it’ll be simpler not to address it. Or that the truth would hurt the other person. Whatever “logic” they use internally, it amounts to justifying what they really want to do, what’s best for them: Avoid the pain of telling the truth.

3 – They rationalize to the deceived… why it wasn’t really deception: So when their “secret” actions are uncovered and the truth becomes known, a deceptive person will often use rationalization again, this time to minimize their dishonesty or even re-frame it as a misunderstanding. (Exactly why I teach how you can use minimizing to GET the truth out of others-it’s one of the most powerful techniques you can know).

“I was not lying. I said things that later on seemed to be untrue.” -President Richard M. Nixon, 1978-on the Watergate scandal

“I tried to walk a fine line between acting lawfully and testifying falsely but I now recognize that I did not fully accomplish that goal.” -former President Bill Clinton

By the time Bill Clinton made this statement, it was apparent to everybody that he hadn’t been truthful in his grand jury testimony on the Lewinsky deal. Here’s the meaning he hoped listeners would take from this statement: “I intended to be truthful at the time, but later realized I fell short”. The statement’s purpose is to rationalize and explain away his dishonesty, make it seem less ominous. But here’s the real meaning of the statement, the one Clinton didn’t even realize he was conveying: “I tried to be deceptive without anybody picking up on it, and it didn’t work.”

His statement really just serves as more evidence that people-from the President right down to the those you converse with every day-always convey more than they realize. Of course, most of this sub-textual messaging goes unnoticed by the average person. Just like Richard Nixon, the one thing Bill Clinton would never be heard saying is, “I lied.” And you know what? When it comes to being caught at dishonesty, the average person isn’t any different from Richard Nixon or Bill Clinton-that’s why you’ve never heard ANYONE say, “I lied”.

And why’s that? Well, even when they’re nailed, people tend to use words as a “parachute”-virtually no one ever admits lying, instead they get very clever with their words yet again, this time to squirm out of their false remarks. In fact, they’ll use every trick in the book to escape guilt, maybe even put the blame on you if they can. They didn’t mean it the way you took it. They didn’t say it quite like that. You misunderstood. When Richard Nixon said, “I was not lying. I said things that later on seemed to be untrue,” he make unwittingly makes use of this tactic, actually faulting the listener… for his deceit. He doesn’t admit he was dishonest-just that it “seemed” that way to others. It was their perception that was the problem.

Keep in mind that that whenever deception is used, rationalization is never far away. It’s the trap door that allows the deceptive to both justify his deceit… and wiggle out of any responsibility for it.

For a FREE MP3 download of my audio, “How to Tell a Lie and Get Away with it EVERY Time!” visit my blog at: http://www.deceptionsecrets.com