Are you waiting for your Boaz? If you don’t know who Boaz is, he is a character from the Book of Ruth in the Bible. Boaz was a wealthy landowner. He noticed a foreigner named Ruth, took interest in her and immediately began to protect her. He found favor in her because of her kindness and Godly qualities. He instructed his male servants not to lay a hand on her and treated her like a queen. He knew that she was the woman for him when he first saw her. Today, many Christian women compare his qualities to those of the man they want in a husband; a man who will take care, protect, and treat them like queens.

Whether you haven’t met him yet or you think you have but you are still technically single, you may often find yourself wondering either “where is he?!” or “when is he going to ask me to marry him?!” Simply based on our feelings of readiness, we place all the blame on him.

I want to make a suggestion that perhaps this man is chosen for us by God and this chosen King will come when the Queen is really and truly ready. Just because we are tired of the single life, we feel like we are ready to settle down, we are in love or have met the man of our dreams does not mean we are ready for the purpose that God intends us to execute as a match for His chosen Boaz. We need to be open and ready to receive this man, emotionally healthy so that we have something to offer. Here are a few things to consider while waiting for your future hubby to arrive:

#1 Stop blaming him for not being able to fulfill your need to get married just because you feel you are ready! Everything happens for a reason and maybe the reason that you are waiting is because you are not as ready as you think.

#2 Dig deep. Take a look at yourself and ask if there is anything that you can work on to make yourself the very best you there is to offer. Are there any childhood troubles that haunt you or hold you back? Are there secrets that you have never discussed that have negatively shaped you into who you are today? Did you pick up a couple of undesirable traits from your parents that you wish you hadn’t? What about past relationships that you still hold resentment or shame about? Now is the time to reflect and face any demons or excess baggage that you carry. Try counseling or therapy and prayer to help you talk about it. This will not be easy, but God is watching, and sometimes He won’t allow you to move forward because He needs you to drop some things from your past. These things can get in the way of the role He needs you to play paired with your husband and your purpose. Your marital stagnation may not be Boaz’s fault at all. Your future hubby is going to need a helpmate not a patient.

#3 Have you ever really listened to the lyrics of the song “Bag Lady” by Erykah Badu? STOP RIGHT NOW and YouTube it. It’s quite deep and the message is clear. The bag lady portrayed in the song isn’t carrying physical baggage but the emotional kind. She states “Bag lady you gon’ miss your bus, you can’t hurry up, cuz you got too much stuff”, “one day, he gon’ say you crowding my space”. The lyrics elude to the fact that carrying too much baggage will delay life progress, slow you down from establishing successful relationships. It can get in the way of a current relationship, creating doubt by your mate that there is enough room for him along with your emotional baggage. Spend this time of waiting, reflecting and challenging yourself to learn more about you and face the tough stuff BEFORE you bind your man into marriage.

#4 It doesn’t have to be that deep. If in review of yourself your findings say that you are not emotionally challenged but yet Boaz is still not here, then use the time to check off a few bucket list items. Take yourself out of your comfort zone and amaze yourself about what you thought you could never do. Experience something new, discover new things.

#5 Last but not least Volunteer! Often times when you take the focus off of what you don’t have and put it into helping others, God will begin to answer your needs (this is how I met my husband).

My point is, if you take the focus off of him and invest it into yourself NOTHING but good can come out of it. One of three things will happen.

#1 You will distract yourself from the waiting period and next thing you know, your Boaz has arrived.

#2 You learn more about yourself; your confidence level goes through the roof and improves your chances of being noticed by the man of your dreams.

#3 After making all these improvements to yourself you may realize that the guy you were waiting on isn’t the Boaz you thought he was and you deserve better. There is definitely nothing wrong with that!