I have a lot of respect for my submissives. Yes, you heard right; My submissives. I am a lifestyle and professional dominatrix, and a damn good one at that.

I live in San Francisco and I specialize in subservience, but am not really one for the "whips and chains" image so commonly tied to the word dominatrix myself. I do a lot of my work online and never even meet the submissive in person. I also do in person work, however the submissive is not allowed to even touch me, sexually or otherwise. Part of the lure is that they know they'll never get the opportunity to do so.

Conveniently for me, beyond the crisp salty air that rolls off San Francisco's Bay, is a rather large fetish community. It is thriving here, and spoken of openly. However, I have found that the vast majority of the population, both here and in general, do not have an appreciation for the lifestyle, because they have a very inaccurate view of what it is, or often times no view at all.

I carry no shame in the fact that I am a dominatrix. In fact, I'm proud of it. I openly disclose what I do regularly which naturally brings questions, and I welcome the questions as an opportunity to educate the public at large. One of the most common misconceptions about BDSM is that submissives are weak, can't stand up for themselves, weird or something to that effect, or that they're being taken advantage of. However, I passionately disagree with that mindset.

In fact, I think submissives are incredibly strong, driven people with a lot of dedication to what they love. I admire their courage for daring to step into something shunned by society and a lot of times their gender as they disclose their deepest, most vulnerable desires to someone they have an attraction to and fear rejection from. People who decide to submit to another show devotion to another human being on a level that society in general is not accustomed to. It's a beautiful thing really.

At any time, day or night I can call upon one of many men and women who submit to me to serve my every whim. And what do I give them in return? Sometimes nothing . Other times special attention, or things that others don't get to see or know about me. They get whatever it is that I feel like giving at that moment with no guaranteed benefit due them, and they still gladly and enthusiastically do it. Why? Each has their own reason why, and that in and of itself is a whole other vast topic. However, for most of them, the act of making me happy is what they get high on. It's a very selfless role to take and I admire it deeply.

Do I get a lot of backlash about my chosen career as a dominatrix? Absolutely. There is a certain stigma attached to anyone who works in the sex industry regardless of their level of physical / sexual involvement and interaction. However, the negativity that I receive is no where near as much as submissives deal with if they choose to openly disclose their interest. In fact, the dominatrix has become somewhat of an icon in American society. To women, she is a hero, and to men she is feared, but nonetheless, intensely desired. More often than you think, disclosing that I am a dominatrix is ​​met not with disapproval or disgust, but rather great interest, intrigue, and admiration.

In the end, I must admit, I become very attached to my most loyal submissives. In fact, with time, I not only come to care about them, but ultimately depend on them to provide for me financially and emotionally. That does not mean that I need them in order to survive, however, they make my life much easier, and I genuinely enjoy my interactions with them both as a dominatrix as well as simply as a fellow human being. I become very appreciative of all they do, and it bonds us in a relationship that is unlike any other.